Ever since this past Monday evening, when I returned home carrying my late wife’s belongings back from the hospice I’ve been thinking about this day and about what I was going to say to all of you, to Nada, to my kids.
At first I thought I would wing it, as I do most of the time when I do public speaking for my business.
But then I thought – this is different. With my business I am comfortable teaching what I know, because I know it. This, here today, I thought, needs to be different. It is different. And I don’t know anything about it.
Almost a week has past and I haven’t written a single line.
And then I realized I don’t need to say to my wife anything more that I haven’t told her a thousand times already.
That I have nothing to say to you that you don’t already know about Nada, about our love, about our life and about our kids.
Even during times when I knew the end was nearing I didn’t feel compelled to speak to my wife, simply because we had 20 years together and all that was worth saying between us was already said:
– would you like to go out with me to see a movie?
– may I hold your hand?
– I love you – may I kiss you?
– Will you marry me?
– Let’s move to Canada!
– We’re pregnant!
– It’s a boy!
– We’re pregnant again!
– It’s a girl!
A few weeks ago I received an email from an online client whom I’ve never met in person, and he said something I feel is worth repeating here and everywhere:
I can’t tell you anything to make the situation better right now except to say that you have been blessed. Not with the tragedy that has befallen you at this present moment, but by virtue of the fact that you and your wife found each other, loved each other, created a family, had children and have gotten to experience a life that many in this world can only dream of.
Sure life will undoubtedly change, as it always does, and the person whom you thought would be beside you always may not be there physically; but you’ll have the lifetime joy from the memories that you created together to help you get through the difficult moments and help bring you forward in life.
I thought that was too good not to include here.
I’d like to end with one of the comments from Nada’s memorial web site. I picked this particular one out because it sounds as if I wrote it myself:
Nada, I cannot believe you are gone. You were always full of so much energy. It broke my heart to see this cruel disease take over your body.
What I will always remember about you is your love and devotion to Boris, when you looked at him your look was full of love and respect for him.
Your children, how can one describe your love, passionate seems too weak a word. In their short lives you have given them so much, you have reared Maja into a carefree confident child, Luka is thoughtful and intelligent.
You did not know you had to teach them skills for a lifetime in such a short time. You have given them a wonderful foundation and I know they will grow into loving caring adults because of you!
Be at peace my friend, all will be well with your precious family!
(That was written by Charmaine who couldn’t be here with us today, so I wanted to make sure her voice was heard.)
However painful this experience has been for me it’s also been filled with wonderful moments of kindness from all kinds of people:
– my clients who brought food to my door
– my networking partners who bought me the most precious commodity – time
– friends who went beyond the call of duty to help my family in time of need
– strangers who offered practical help and words of wisdom and encouragement
– neighbours – old and new – who provided good nutritious food to my family, foot massages to Nada, taking care of the kids and spiritual support.
Thank you all for being there for us, for all your support. I know my kids and I will be OK because you will make sure of that.
For my part, I promise to keep the memory of my dear Nadica alive, to make sure neither I nor my kids ever forget her love and how much she gave to us.
And finally I pledge to do my best to be a mother and a father to my little ones, Maja and Luka.
Thank you Nada for the wonderful and unforgettable 20 years you’ve spent with me.
Remember the inscription on that gold chain around your neck: I’m only yours!
Until I see you again…
